what do i even do to cope with this

my dad used to compliment my face getting fuller but today he told me it looks disgusting and said i have no reason to be this ravenous anymore. he implied i became chubby. i dont feel well at all, i just want to relapse and dont see a reason to keep honoring my hunger and i feel so convinced i put myself in this hellhole by immediately reintroducing food and making overeating a norm.