How do yall feel about not going through male puberty?

This has been bothering me for so so long now. And it honestly probably makes me the most dysphoric and depressed.

I hate that i didn’t go through the typical male puberty when i was young. Whenever i see a younger guy who i used to know from high school it fuels me with so much anger and sadness.. to see him/them develop, to see his frame getting bigger, to see them grow first few hairs on their chin… it truly makes me miserable that i didn’t get that. the “puberty” i got after starting T at 19 did not do much. i’m still stuck in my body and i hate it… it especially crushes me to see young guys (like my gfs 12 yo brother) to be taller than me already and just overall maturing.

do any of you have the same feelings? how do you deal with that