Is there anybody else who is embarrassed about who their f/o is

I feel like it would be tenfolds easier to admit that my f/o was this conveniently attractive anime character that everybody likes and knows, but it isn’t. I dislike being embarrassed because there isn’t anything to be embarrassed ABOUT. He is my f/o yet I still care about others thoughts :,) Not saying he isn’t attractive to me - no that is far from the truth, but I’ve had like several experiences where I express my ‘crush’ like feelings to friends and I am met with surprised looks and giggles. And I’ll agree, it is giggle worthy at first, but I just want him to be treated like every other fictional character. No hate to people with objectively attractive f/o’s at all btw, it is just me.. anyway I love him anywho. They just don’t get it. I also have this small sneaking suspicion that I am the only person to admit online that this character out of everybody is my f/o. Which is cool and not really. I literally can’t even say his name it’s so horrible. If anybody relates that’d be very warming.