Got my old job back. Really feel odd.

So here is the truth about my experience at HHS (CMS). I’m a nurse hired at GS-13 was hired and slated for February. I was told not to negotiate for a step increase and to move my date up to 1/27 before the freeze took place. I did this and left my job in the private sector (hospital system, good position). Went through tons of training to literally detect fraud from hospitals. I directly asked if I would be safe and was told I would be. I never really considered taking the offer because I found it to be unethical since I was only just beginning the position and I wanted to serve. I was laid off in the email. Immediately downloaded everything. Sent my email asking for clarification and reasons to my direct and the director over the division. I tagged HR and my union rep. Never received a response. I contacted both of my senators. I filled out a complaint with OSC and MSPB. Called my old boss back last week who welcomed me back with open arms.

All this to say that the American people will suffer from this. I am so saddened by all of this and wanted to serve my country in this way. I am just now viewing it as a paid masterclass on federal regulations and the SOM. I am lucky to have my old position back, but I have trouble shaking everything that happened with the added stress and confusion. I feel guilty for putting my family through all of it.