Fear is a b!tch

13 hours before my flight. Straight shot from Sacramento to Honolulu, taken the flight many times. And yet here I am debating whether or not to go. Not a week ago I posted here about being worried that o was not worried about my anxiety and boom here it is in all its glory. I have tricks to keep myself occupied, downloaded some movies and tv shows, have a book etc. but I know that 1) before they close the door I’ll wanna get up and leave. 2) every little bump I feel during the flight will send me into a panic spiral and 3) I will be annoying the hell out of my wife for the rest of the evening. Just need to vent. I know all the stats and it does make me feel any better. And to top it off, last time I took this flight a few months ago, I was fine once we got going.