Do I get endowed&sealed or divorced?
I 27f met my husband (28M) almost 2 years ago. He is a devoted Mormon. I really wish I stopped dating him immediately when I found out, but I liked him. I went through the motions and got baptized. I know I’m in the wrong because I don’t believe in the church and a majority of its teachings. Well, when we found out I was pregnant, we got married. I don’t want to pay tithing or wear garments, and have been holding off getting endowed and sealed in the temple because I don’t know if I’m digging myself a hole here. He knows how I feel about tithing and garments and he says that I need to learn to be “obedient”. WT actual Fck is that about. We’ve talked about divorce but he seems more inclined to make me feel bad about it. I truly wish he would just divorce me, but I want full custody of our baby and knowing him I don’t think he would let that happen. So I guess is it better for me to get endowed and get sealed? Or do I bite the bullet, divorce but now my child’s life is split. I met with a divorce lawyer without him knowing and they even recommended I wait a few years because if we divorced now they would likely make me split custody 50/50.
EDIT: Thank you everyone for the commentary and advice. To answer a few of the questions..
Preface: What I don’t know is if this is his religion talking or his personality.
he is controlling. He’s the kind of person that tells me that “I’m being bad” or “need to be punished” and not in a funny way, but like dead serious. He’s tells me to repent if I curse, can’t watch rated R movies, or drink coffee/matcha lattes, etc.
I’m financially independent, but he would like me to stop expanding my business. I own a business that does very well. He would also like access to my bank account for us to merge our finances. I’ve tried to hold this off as long as possible. I’ve worked really hard to get to where I am, and I don’t want him paying 10% of it to the church.
When we found out I was pregnant, my parents were happy for us. I couldn’t even be there to tell his parents. His mom cried. They told us to speak to our YSA bishop and we didn’t get in trouble. Literally nothing happened except a congratulations that we were getting married.
He could just be threatening divorce to manipulate me. He often tries to guilt me for “not listening” he also told me his patriarchal blessings says that he will marry in the temple. He says he married someone (me) who was active in the church and if I want to go against that then we need to divorce. BUT he won’t follow through with the divorce- I think he’s worried about what people will think.
I like him, but I don’t know if this is salvageable. I’ll probably meet with another lawyer in the new year to sort through my options. Thank you for the advice - I’m starting to review the CES Letter and will try to pop in a question here and there