I can’t turn a blind eye to Jewish bigotry and hypocrisy anymore

Raised secular but have been part of Conservative & MO congregations over the past six years. Attended an Orthodox midrasha for some time and eventually began keeping Shabbat and kosher in the home. But that’s all done with for me. I moved away someplace with practically no Jewish presence for uni, and it’s really laid bare all the flaws and hypocrisy that can taint Jewish cultural and religious life.

I can no longer pretend that I’m inherently special and spiritually elevated because my mom was Jewish. I can’t pretend that using pre-cut toilet paper on the weekends and being unable to touch my future husband for half of every month will make me a better, happier person. I can’t pretend that giving preferential treatment to ffb over baalei teshuvah and gerim is an exception rather than the norm. I can’t ignore how some Jewish spaces use tragedies in the current geopolitical climate as an excuse to dehumanize Arabs. I can’t ignore the apparent prevalence of Jewish trump supporters crediting him with bringing hostages home. I can’t ignore the exclusion of Jews of color esp. from Ashkenormative spaces. I can’t ignore how some privileged Jews are openly prejudiced against Latinos and black people, while employing undocumented migrants and relying on gov handouts to send their kids to Jewish schools. I can’t ignore how racism is often justified by pointing out antisemitism from other minority groups.

Recently, I made a post in one of the big Jewish subs about my experiences encountering racism in the Jewish community as a Sephardic Jew born to Mexican immigrant parents. Most of the comments were either accusing me of claiming most Jews are racist, or completely ignoring the point and deflecting by saying antisemitism from gentiles is so much worse so it makes sense to be prejudiced against them. As if that’s an excuse to not address discrimination within our community and somehow makes that problem go away. So much for ahavat yisrael🙄. I think this is what finally made it all clear for me. This may seem harsh, but I’m glad I won’t be propagating that deluded narrative that being Jewish means we have a monopoly on sanctified victimhood, onto the next generation.