I hate that this game is so addictive (Rant?)

Okay, I've been trying to revive the Byzantine Empire in Ironman for the last couple of days now. Its my first time playing in maybe 2 years and it went as expected. I've failed almost 20 saves now, but I just can't stop playing. I don't know why, I hate the way that almost everything boils down to luck, like getting allies and stuff. Yet I still try again and its driving me crazy. I hate that I have to do things over and over again, restart after restart but I just can't stop myself. I Alt + F4 the game, only to boot it up again 5 minutes later. I think I'm going insane.