Struggling with Self respect

Do you guys also struggled with the notion of self respect / self esteem ?

In the past I’ve been acting like a complete clown around others and especially my normies friends and I somehow regret that.

For example eating grass, acting jokingly zesty, saying stupid things to strangers, being generally weird in public. It’s kinda like a humiliation ritual I think every ENTP went through at one time maybe in a different form