It happened…

Sorry if this is triggering to anyone. I’m one of those people with this phobia that does drink from time to time, I do it in social settings. Last night was scary, and even telling what happened is causing me to be anxious.

I decided to meet up with my friend and I had too many shots, I usually know my limit, but being stupid, I was trying to keep up with my friend when he’s able to drink more than me. I don’t remember much from last night. I think I was feeling n* when I got in the car to head home, and that caused me to panic. We pulled up to my house, I called my mom to help me to my room, my mom was helping me and I felt some come up my throat, but I kept fighting it. I finally dozed off, I guess she thought I was fine, because I woke up again from the n* and she went to bed. I started to panic and call her, (she knows about my phobia and really one of the few people in my life that takes it seriously and tries to help me in these kind of moments) she was asleep so no answer, I felt it about to happen so I just turned to the side of my bed and let it happen…and it did 😓. BUT I was ok after. It was only one time and it wasn’t a lot. I was relieved that I was able to finally go to sleep without feeling n* but I’m still pretty shaken up by it, I’m shaking rn as I’m typing this lol and I’m scared to eat. I’ll get over this phobia one day, but hey at least this was the first time in 10 years since I last v*