I need help for my mental health

I'm a 35 year old guy with a wife and a young child. But I'm unable to go on in life and am considering ending it all more often than I'd like to admit.

Where do I go for help? I feel so lonely and anxious all the time. I am unable to maintain friendships or find the desire to. I am unfit, bald, lack good conversational skills. It's just been mounting up on me and I can't go on.

I have not been able to find a therapist either. I'm just at a loss for words. I put on a brave face for my family but every evening I sit down and cry for at least 15 min or go to the grocery store parking lot and cry there.

I need help.