Can you be suicidal but be scared of dying?

I've been thinking about suicide for ten years now, sometimes more than ever, sometimes less. This last six months, I thought about it every day. I just think "ok, I've done all the things I could. I got all the goals I had. Now I just want to finish and stop everything." puff, like that. I've also done some researches about suicide methods, but every time I read them I am afraid. Afraid of what? Of not really dying. Of a failure in that method. Of the pain or the realization of dying itself.

Edit: I am not afraid of what is afterdeath (the only thing that I know is that anything it can be, it will be better than this). I am afraid of the ACT of dying