Living out the final month(s) of my life

I'm 20, and have been battling cancer for the last 1.5 years.

Four years ago I was involved in an incident at my school, pushing one of my classmates down the staircase in a fit of anger, which luckily didn't kill her but caused serious brain damage to her, effectively ending her own life in a way.

I was suspended and spent two years in prison and half a year in a "rehabilitation camp", during the latter was when I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, all while being haunted ny my stupid mistake as a naive 16-year-old that didn't know better, I have ruined someone else's life while also destroying my own.

My health deteriorated quickly after that so I got discharged and came back with my family, and I just cannot keep the thought that what I'm going through is karma for what I did. I killed someone, I lost my friends, my potential and soon my life as well. Knowing pancreatic cancer is extremely difficult to survive and my doctor just gave me around 1 to 2 months left to live, I decided to make this confession as I didn't want to keep it to myself forever, I wanted to let go of everything before I go six feet under.

So please, be kind to each other and help each other when they call for help, a bit ironic from me but at least I could finally do or say something right for once before the end. This might be the only post I'll do on this subreddit, as I am using my mother's phone to write all of this to you.

See you on the flip side.

Goodbye.