I am such a loser.

I (17M) suck at everything in life. I just sit around do nothing and complain and complain. Like I have some kind of hard life.

Like i'm so f*cking spoiled and lazy it's unbelievable. Why the hell should I live? No one needs to endure my bullshit. I wish I could die!

I'm a coward walking away from every responsibility in my life.

I think I will start starving myself again even if it makes no sense. It makes me even a worse loser and spoiled useless brat and burden on everyone.

Do I want to get attention by starving myself or something?

Like I should just d*e.

Like I should just stand up and do things and change.

It's my fault I don't change. I'm the useless piece of s*it human being.

I should d*e.

Like why can't I even get myself to shower or brush my teeth. Like I can stand up to go to the toilet and shit, but I can't f*cking pull my lazy spoiled useless evil self up to just shower or brush my teeth.

Like i'm purposefully lazy.

Like I deserve every pain in this world.

Yeah people say I should get therapy but i'm too weak for therapy because for therapy you need to be able to do something and not be me.

Like I try and am in therapy like i'm in a mental hospital right now but I still suck.

Don't even get up and convince myself to take my meds because oh i'm ashamed of people looking at me weird how pathetic.

My life is just a pathetic waste of space.