me and my cousin would "touch"

back a few years ago me and my cousin were about 13 or 14 (we are the same age)she would like put my hand in the back of her pants and let me touch her butt and i wasn't opposed to this but this went on for about a year the same stuff everytime we saw each other and when she broke it off i was pretty sad and never really got a girlfriend in that time then she would let me do it again occasionally because she felt bad for me i was an extremely depressed teenager at the time i'm fine now wife and kids but occasionally i think of this and am extremely embarrassed, thoughts?