She's kinda cool but I'm still not attracted to her at all

This is a follow up to my previous post. TLDR; I love her personality, but she's just not the most attractive girl in the world

So, we met up again recently and saw each other naked (this time fully). It was cool and all, we made out a few times and touched each other, hell we did both at the same time but no sex

She's really, really cool of a person. But, I just can't get over how I'm just not attracted to her. I've really, really tried my hardest to be, but I'm just embarrassed to even be seen with her in public. I really don't want to be mean about this either as she has such a good heart and she's a lovely person, but she's just not attractive physically in the 2 ways that count: face and body

It's cool to make out with her and to play with her boobs! I do the making out part with my eyes closed anyways, but her boobs are a bit saggy and only look good if she's laying down. We've spent hours together just laying together and talking, and I've found that I actually sometimes convince myself she's attractive to me, for a short period of time. Like, I don't like touching her in some places because there's weird lumps of fat (I'M SORRY) but she has pretty eyes I guess

I live somewhere where there's a lot less single people my age around. While she wants me to meet her Dad, I want my dad to never find out how I'm dating someone who looks the way she does. I previously tried to not break her heart by agreeing that we'd only be in a casual relationship, but it's my fault for liking her personality too much and being too kind, basically making it into a dating relationship accidentally

People previously told me that it's okay, that it's impossible for them to be in a relationship with someone they find physically unattractive, and I get it now. If I found her pretty, I definitely would've gone down on her by now. Instead, I feel it's hard to want to do things to her sometimes. Physical attraction is extremely important and I see that now

Like I previously sorta said, there's not a lot of single people our age around. We're both virgins despite this and the agreement was that we'd just do casual stuff for a while. So, my current plan is to just gain experience and move on after we've both decided we're done (if things could only be that simple, I know they won't be) and we've done it a few times where we're comfortable going out and finding othe people. I know this is heartless on my part, I've really tried. It's just too hard when I'm not attracted to her!!!!!!!! I've been screaming at myself for weeks!

Btw, yes I previously lied about my age so she wouldn't know it's me. Thanks to the painful armchair experts for blowing my cover and seemingly reading through my whole post history over this case of me not being attracted to a girl??? Don't be an asshole, I'm just trying to respect our privacies, thanks