CMV: there is nothing wrong with safe and consensual polyamorous and open relationships

(Small edit at the bottom)

By safe I mean with contraceptives/STD prevention and in a safe environment. Also I am not talking about polygamy, I’m talking about polyamory. I am also not talking about cheating, because that isn’t consensual. If you don’t know the difference then at least research a little bit before commenting. I also understand open relationships and polyamory are not the same thing, but I am putting them together because people tend to say they’re bad for the same reasons, or think they’re the same thing. I do not mean to offend anyone in the polyamorous community. In terms of polyamorous marriage, I honestly don’t know, so please limit this only to dating outside of legal arrangements. I am currently in an open, non-poly relationship for context and things are going swell.

First, I don’t believe it’s morally wrong. If you and your partner are both ok with having sex/dating other people go ahead. If you’re not then monogamy is just fine. It’s the same the “is porn cheating?” debate. Some people say it is, some people say it isn’t but would prefer their partner didn’t do it, and some say it isn’t and it’s totally fine. I will not accept “the Bible says” or “that’s gross” as rebuttals.

Secondly, I don’t think the inherent risk that comes with all sex is necessarily more than that of other relationships. Asexual people can be in poly relationships first of all, but even just looking at the sex aspect this still holds true. There are plenty of prevention methods for STDs and pregnancy. Will everyone use them? No, but this is true for single people who sleep around, people in monogamous relationships, and anyone else who has sex. Safe sex practice should be the standard in general.

On the topic of single people who sleep around, they have just as much sex and don’t have nearly the same stigma as people in open/poly relationships, especially for men. Same risks and maybe even more because they might not have lasting communication in the case of an STD/pregnancy.

Some people say they don’t believe one person can love multiple at the same time. Maybe you can’t, but others believe they can. Even if it doesn’t work for them, that’s their decision and their thing to figure out.

Another thing I hear is that people will leave their current partner for someone else. This is a nonissue in polyamory if you know anything about it as you can just date them both, but I don’t think this logic is sound for open relationships either. If you feel such a strong connection with someone that you leave your partner, you probably weren’t going to work out in the first place. Even if you want to say it is more likely, people are accepting that risk and that is, again, their decision to make.

Dating multiple people and living with them is better economically. I don’t think I need to elaborate.

I haven’t seen any evidence of children growing up in a (healthy) polyamorous home to be inherently bad for them. Honestly I believe it might be better as they have more support.

There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of sex in general. You are taking the risk with someone else, and you are enjoying it. Unless it becomes an addiction or against your will (which I don’t think is more likely in a non-monogamous relationship), I see no problem.

You get to experience new things. Maybe that’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but for some people it is, and I think if they want to have that opportunity they shouldn’t see it as “bad” or “morally wrong”. Having fun and experimenting is ok.

Literally the only negative I could see is the fact that you might get judged but like, that goes for everything. A lot of poly people just say their other partners are roommates/friends and people in open relationships just don’t share that they’re in one. It’s no one else’s business really is what it comes down to for me. Do what you want, let other people do what they want as long as it’s consensual.

Edit: ok, a lot of people are saying “well if it’s consensual and safe obviously there’s no argument against it” and I don’t believe that to be true. One thing that immediately comes to mind is cousin relationships. That’s consensual and can involve safe sex practices, maybe even no sex, but people can talk about the issues with familiar pressure, power dynamics, and possible genetic issues down the line. Those are all valid reasons to say it should at least be questionable imo. Another person mentioned getting a bunch of tattoos. While I’m all in favor of those too, someone could definitely talk about job prospects and probably some other things. Just because something is consensual doesn’t mean no one can find a reason to be against it.

ALL sex should be consensual and safe, hence why I added it and I don’t think “what about STDs?” And “it might not be consensual” are good arguments either. A lot of what I said here can refute that.