I don’t have energy for friends anymore

Everything has fallen apart. All my time, money, energy, every bit of every thing I have goes to just taking care of myself. The basics. Medical stuff. Just getting by. The few, RARE moments I have to myself.. I want to live. I want to have a hobby, I want to do something, anything, like a normal person just for one second.

But that means I never reply to people anymore. I put my stupid little free time energy into myself, and feel too exhausted to talk to anyone after. Friendships fall apart, people abandon me and I abandon others. It hurts both ways and I know that. Am I a bad person for doing this? Why do I even have to choose? I wish things were different