A piece of my heart is gone forever.

Your favorite bed, your food bowl, your pillows - all still there where you left them. Your spot on the couch is still covered with your fur. After they injected you, I couldn't believe it when I touched your body and it felt cold. Weren't you breathing just a moment ago? You really looked like you were sleeping. I wish you were. You always had the prettiest eyes and it kind of fucked me up to know this was the last time I'd be seeing them.

You've been by my side for 15 years, over 2/3rds of my life. You were there for me when I had nothing and no one. I was lucky to be able to witness your whole life - from an affectionate little kitten to a plump, bratty cat, and then to a mellow senior. I wish I'd played more piano for you, let you on my lap more, gave you more treats. You were such a sweet, spoiled little princess, even when you got sick. You even got to have some churu before you left us. But you're in a better place now, somewhere where it doesn't hurt. I hope you're resting somewhere safe and warm and happy. I hope you know you meant the world to me. You don't have to suffer anymore. You were my best friend, my first friend. Thank you.

I don't have anyone to grieve her with. I just want someone, anyone, to know that she existed, and that I loved her more than life itself.