Hoover FH50700 PowerDash Pet Carpet Cleaner Review: When Your Rug Needs a Hug

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My carpet's seen better days. Maybe it's the relentless assault of pet hair, or perhaps it's just bearing witness to my questionable life choices.

But either way, I decided to try out the Hoover PowerDash carpet cleaner.

Here's my thoughts.

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First Impressions

When I cracked it open, I was greeted by a machine that looked like the love child of a Transformer and a water cooler. Compact, and blue enough to make Papa Smurf jealous.

The next surprise was the weight. This thing's lighter than my commitment issues. Assembly was a breeze, which is great because if I wanted a puzzle, I'd buy a jigsaw, not a carpet cleaner. The quick-start guide was also mercifully short.

Plugging it in, this little guy roared to life with the confidence of a lion who's just downed a triple espresso. Nice.

Still, given my carpet's state - coffee stains, pet "accidents", and what I can only describe as the physical manifestation of poor life choices - I wasn't exactly optimistic. I've seen carpets cleaner in crack dens. But hey, if this Hoover could make even a dent in the disaster zone formerly known as my living room floor, I'd consider it a win.

As I made my first pass, I watched in a mixture of horror and fascination as the pristine water in the tank transformed into something that looked like it came straight from the Bog of Eternal Stench. It was simultaneously disgusting and oddly satisfying, like popping a really gnarly pimple.

The PowerSpin Pet Brush Roll attacked my carpet with ferocity. I half expected it to start smoking from the effort. But nope, it just kept on trucking, seemingly unfazed by the warzone it was experiencing.

One thing that immediately stood out was the HeatForce Technology. Now, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure this is just fancy talk for "blows hot air." Whatever it is, it seemed to be working. My carpet was drying faster than my bank account on payday.

As I continued cleaning, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of... pride? Here I was, adulting like a boss, actually cleaning my carpet instead of just strategically rearranging furniture to cover the stains. Maybe this is what growing up feels like. Or maybe it's just the cleaning solution fumes going to my head.

Key Features

PowerSpin Pet Brush Roll: Sounds like a rejected name for a boy band. But in reality, this is the heart and soul of this thing. It's like giving your carpet a vigorous massage with a thousand tiny, slightly damp hands. In practice, it does a surprisingly good job of agitating the carpet fibers and lifting out dirt you didn't even know was there.

HeatForce Technology: Fancy name for a hairdryer, if you ask me. But I'll be damned if it doesn't work. This feature blows warm air on your freshly cleaned carpet, speeding up the drying process. It's means you can walk on your carpet without that squelchy feeling in a matter of hours. Perfect for those of us who lack patience.

Dual Tank System: You've got your clean water tank and your dirty water tank, clearly separated like the good and evil sides of my conscience. The clean tank is where you mix your water and cleaning solution - like a cocktail, but for your carpet. The dirty tank collects all the filth and shame your carpet has been hiding. Watching that clear water turn into a murky soup of regret is oddly satisfying.

Compact and Lightweight Design: At a svelte 12.5 pounds, this cleaner is lighter than my last relationship baggage. It's designed to be easily maneuverable, fitting into tight spaces and under furniture. In practice, this means you can clean those awkward spots without throwing your back out or unleashing a string of expletives.

2X More Cleaning Power: Hoover claims this bad boy has twice the cleaning power of the leading lightweight carpet cleaner. I can't verify this claim with any sort of scientific rigor. But I can say this: it does seem to pack a punch for its size.

Trial Size Cleaning Solution: They throw in a small bottle of cleaning solution, which is like getting a free fry with your burger. It's enough to get you started and hooked on the cleaning high, but you'll be jonesing for more before you know it.

Pros

  • Lightweight: This thing weighs about as much as my regrets after a night of heavy drinking. At 12.5 pounds, it's the featherweight of the carpet cleaning world. You can whip this baby around your living room without much hassle.

  • Compact: Size does matter, but in this case, smaller is better. The compact design means you can shove it into that awkward closet space where you usually hide your "I'll get to it someday" pile.

  • Pet Mess Terminator: Got a fur baby who thinks your carpet is their personal toilet? The PowerDash Pet doesn't judge. It just gets to work, attacking pet stains and odors like it's on a mission from God. The PowerSpin Pet Brush Roll is particularly effective at lifting embedded pet hair, dander, and whatever mysterious substances your animal has deposited on your floor. Can't knock it.

  • Speedy Drying: Thanks to the HeatForce technology, your carpet goes from "swamp thing" to "walk on me" pretty fast. It's great for those of us living in small spaces where wet carpet is about as welcome as a telemarketer at dinner time.

  • Budget-Friendly: This little guy won't break the bank. For less than the cost of a fancy night out or a pair of designer jeans, you can own a machine that will save you hundreds in professional cleaning fees.

Cons

  • Tank Tantrum: The clean water tank is smaller than my attention span. You'll be refilling this thing more often than a teenager checks their phone. It's like the machine has a drinking problem, constantly demanding more water and solution.

  • Cord Conundrum: The power cord is shorter than a T-Rex's arms. Unless you live in a shoebox, you'll be playing a frustrating game of "find the outlet" as you clean. It's like the designers assumed we all live in dollhouses or have extension cords growing out of our walls.

  • Noise: This little beast roars like a lion with a megaphone. Your neighbors might think you're operating a small airport in your living room. Forget about subtle, ninja-like cleaning - this is more "wake the dead" territory.

Final Thoughts

For the average Joe or Jane dealing with the usual suspects of carpet crimes - pet messes, coffee spills, or the mysterious stains that appear after a wild night - this little blue wonder ain't half bad.

The ideal user? Someone with more carpet stains than square footage, more pets than patience, and more desire for a clean home than disposable income.

On the flip side, if you're running a petting zoo out of your mansion or if your idea of a carpet stain involves hazmat suits and police tape, you might want to look at something a bit more heavy-duty. This isn't the industrial-strength cleaner that can handle crime scenes or frat house aftermath.

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