Thoughts?? Where do I go from here?

Ok Reddit family. I need your help. I am waiting to hear back from an LC for appt but I need to share my story and get some judgment free advice in the meantime!

Here’s our story!

  • My LO was born at 40w6d due to an urgent c-section. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia after and put on the magnesium protocol

  • prior to birth and in those first hours post birth, I made plenty of colostrum

  • my LO latched (on the nipple) but ate 30 m each breast his first ever feed

  • soon after due the magnesium etc my supply dried out. For 5 days.

  • LO refused to come back to breast after that first time.

  • hospital LC gave me the Mandela nipple Shield because I apparently have completely flat nipples hoping that would help. It didn’t at first.

  • in the hospital they supplemented him with donor milk first via syringe and then at some point switched to a bottle and I’m not sure why

  • when we got home I still had no milk. He was supplemented with formula via Avent and Dr. Brown slow feeding bottles. We still tried to BF prior to most feedings but he refused.

  • at about 6 days PP milk started to come in so i started to add pumped milk to his routine

  • at his pediatrician he was diagnosed with a tongue tie and a “small chin.” ENT released the the tongue tie but noted that with the small chin, he doesn’t open his mouth wide and that Especially with flat nipples, BF would be very hard.

  • after tongue release, he will latch with nipple Shields (he prefers the harder ones) but after even 20 min of BF he is still showing hunger cues and will drink at least 50% if not 100% of a bottle. This is super confusing because now I have no idea how much he is eating.

So this is where we are now: - I pump during the day at least 6x and give him that milk overnight. I think it makes him less gassy and maybe he sleeps better

  • I’m only getting ~2 oz per pump (doing both breasts at the same time) so he’s only getting about 50% of his total daily need from me

  • With day feeds I try to BF with nipple shield and then supplement with formula

Here’s where I need y’all’s opinion: What do I do next? Should I keep trying to BF? With his anatomical issues and mine, I don’t know if he will get a good enough latch until he’s much bigger. I go back to work in 10 weeks so either way he’s going to be 50% bottle fed

Also he’s already so used to the plastic, will he ever recognize my nipple?

The nipple shield is our only way but there’s so much hate for those in the BF world. With the limited BF we are doing, is it even worth it with the shield?

Is it beneficial just to have him on my breast a few times a day even if it’s just for comfort?

Since between all this stuff and night bottle feeding I’m so exhausted - I’m really not pumping from 10p-8a. I know I should add an overnight pump to increase supply but I’m so tired I don’t even know if it’s worth it.

Help! What would you do in this situation?