I want a deep beautiful romance with an evolved stable woman

And I have yet to find it. I want deep easy slow burning love that’s passionate, fun, romantic, clear, stable, repricol. I want flowers and candle lit dinners. I want dates at the library, and long walks to the coffee shop. I want holiday photos with our animals. I want long weekends in bed smoking weed and watching cartoons. I want to write deep love letters full of longing and she writes me back because I’m THAT kind of romantic. I want us to split the check for the date or maybe she offers sometime. I want someone who notices the little things and wants to bring me soup when I’m sick and sad. I want someone who can’t wait to text me back because she too has been waiting by the phone. I want someone who thinks of me as much as I think about her. I want us to talk about Sister Outsider and give our analysis on what she means. I want mundane trips to the grocery store and we race each other to the car with our shopping carts. I’ve kissed so many frogs and it’s to the point where I just fucking give up. When I love I love so hard and so deep. Like I show up!!! And I don’t even ask for much. You don’t need to be rich or degreed. I just want someone that wants me too. That wants to fight for me when things get hard. Someone thoughtful and honest. I want someone sweet who holds my hand on the plane when there’s turbulence. I’m 30 and have never had a long term relationship with someone, let alone dated someone who actually likes me. Like I thought when I finally came out the love of my life would be there to greet me but she hasn’t and it’s so so sad. And like I have done the work. I go to therapy once a week and have been in therapy for over 10 years!! I take my anti-depressants, I drink water, I love my mom, I show up for my friends like my life depends on it. I’m not cracked out or dependent on alcohol. I have a full time job a car a college degree my own place that EYE pay the rent for. I have hobbies. I tell myself I’m ok but sometimes I’m like fuck it would be so nice to be desired. I’m always the one chasing and trying to make shit work. I’m always the one waiting around hoping for them to see me for me. Sigh.. maybe posting this will help me manifest her 💀 Please Lesbian Gods if you’re listening🙏🏿