I cracked after over a month of no weed.....

I realized alot from the experience, I was a daily smoker pretty much all day. My doc told me after I brought it up... That is wasn't good for me I was numbing the pain. So I thought about it and realized I got nothing from it other than it dumbed me down. I know that I smoked alot for sure and haven't stopped for more than a few days in the last few years.

When I stopped I had started Wellbutrin my 3rd med change in 4 months. I found that the small dose was working but I was getting depressed in the evening. So upped my dosage and alongisde that stopped smoking pretty much went to nothing.

I realized that I was more emotional and irritatable off the bat. It took a while of getting used to and a couple weeks ago, started having heart palpitations a norm but not for a long time. I have been super irritated and depressed I guess. I figured it was all par for the course and I was going through stages of depression been there too many times.

So today after a stressful day at work, home has continued to be stressful. I went and got a Delta Vape (Weed store was too far). I took a couple hits, breathed and there I was again. I know I smoked a shit ton and it was a crutch for me to not to many things or form good habits, exercise, take lists. I know I was just functioning on it and it was just numbing me down. Im not gonna let the vape go to waste and I tell myself I will only hit it every so often.

It sucks holding yourself accountable. The BP2 with empath and ADHD with a few other sprinkles is a joyful fucking circus! Be well folks, stay strong!