It's heartbreaking how so many of us started feeling suicidal so young :(

TW: Discussion of suicidal thoughts, childhood suicidal ideation, mention of God/religion

I see a ton of comments across multiple subs and platforms every day. "I was 11" "I was 12" "I was 13" "I was 4 years old"

Punched me in the gut to see how many children are affected. I myself started wishing for death at 11. I fought with myself and others for years as a child, and I felt drained and done.

The awful realization that, "I'm alone and I'm still just a kid, I can't do anything to help myself. How many days can I feel like this? How many years do I want to feel and be treated like this?"

Childhood felt like I was being forced to live a life I wanted to kill more than anything. How many of us prayed desperately to a God we didn't believe in? Every night I would stare at the darkness of my room, squeeze eyes shut, and beg God to help me. I would beg and wish that I would feel better, that the pain and torture would end. He never answered.

I'm hoping to be better than my parents. A lot of children think or attempt because they feel hopeless and helpless. If I can ever afford children, I will be better. If I could, I'd never let anyone feel how I felt, ever again.

My heart is with all of us.