I looked down there. I shouldn't have looked. Do not look down there.

I've always heard you shouldn't look. I thought that meant immediately postpartum. I kind of forgot about it honestly. My son is 14 months old.

I cut myself on my labia when I was shaving this evening. Without thinking I grabbed a mirror to see how bad the cut was and oh. my. goodness.

I screamed for my husband and asked why he didn't tell me I had a "Frankenpussy" (that was the first word that came to mind). My labia and vagina have more scars than Frankenstein's face. And they're HUGE scars.

Ultimately I don't care. No one's seeing it except my husband and he's obviously not bothered by it. And I guess my midwives too but they're used to that. But oh my gosh I just didn't think it would look like that. I feel stupid now but for some reason I imagined the tears would look more thin like paper cuts. Mine were all 3rd degree and even 14 months later they look horrible. I can't imagine what I looked like when he was first born.

I survived this. Jesus Christ.