Giving birth to the death

I contemplate a lot about this. It’s such a juxtaposition experience that we in this group has witnessed. We gave birth to the death. Birth and death should be opposing forces but we experienced it as one.

Joy. Birth should be joyful while everyone happy expecting the arrival of our new family members. Grief. But death arrives instead.

Between pushes, I know I pushed a body without soul. It was my first labor and I didnt know how to give birth. Yet during those pushes, I felt ancient wisdom rushed in me as if my body knows how to do it. I felt wild, sensual, and strong. But those powerful birth reward me a dead body.. I never cried that much after looking at my daughter. In that room, what people heard was only the mom’s cries.