Any other autistics find it VERY difficult to identify with the autism community?

This is just something I've been aware of and frustrated by for a while now, and I'm wondering if others might relate.

Basically, I feel like the most NT autistic person there is lol. And believe me, I've got a lot of the expected traits. Grew up doing the stereotypical hand flapping, had to learn to make eye contact, observed people closely to learn certain social skills, sensory issues, all that.

Yet, I feel like an alien in ND circles. I don't know how to explain it without sounding like a jerk, but I almost feel...annoyed (??) by autistic culture. I've attempted to make autistic friends, but ended up just feeling secondhand embarrassment around them. And I didn't want to—they were lovely people—but I couldn't maintain the relationships.

Maybe it's because I mask so highly? I don't let myself stim in public (aside from NT appropriate stims), find eye contact and NT social rules very easy, and have overcome a lot of my sensory issues. I'm clocked as NT by others, and they don't believe me when I bring up autism. It's like I've integrated myself so well into the NT world that I don't understand the ND world anymore. The concept of safe foods, and proudly stimming in public, and being perplexed by things like the whole "Good morning. How are you?" NT scripts just sort of baffle me.

Anyone else out there feel like this?

(Also, I'm open to elaborating/answering questions to help clarify things. I just didn't want to go full rant because there really wasn't a way to word all my feelings without sounding horrible)