My manager is obsessed with milk

Need advice: My boss is treating the office fridge like a crime scene

Alright, tell me if I’m overthinking this, but I swear I’m living in an episode of The Office.

Like any workplace, we’ve got a communal fridge, and like any workplace, the milk situation is an absolute disaster. Cartons disappear overnight, nobody ever owns up to finishing them, and every morning, some poor soul is left violently shaking an empty bottle like it’s going to magically refill itself.

My boss—50-something, bit of a control freak—has had enough. No more waking up excited for his morning coffee only to be betrayed by the great dairy drought of 2024. So, what does he do? He grabs a Sharpie and starts marking the milk level on the bottle every night before he goes home. He thinks he’s cracked the case. CSI: Office Kitchen.

Fast forward to the next morning—he swings open the fridge, pulls out the bottle, and freezes. Holds it up like it’s a dead body. “Someone has stolen exactly 200ml of milk.” The way he says it, you’d think we were dealing with corporate fraud, not a splash of full cream.

Then comes the interrogation. “Who was in the office after 5:30 PM? Who made a cuppa? Was it you?” Full eye contact. Zero humour. The man is serious.

Nobody confesses. We’re all just standing there, half-awake, trying not to laugh. He sighs, shakes his head, and mutters something about installing a camera. Over milk. In an office fridge.

So now I’m torn. Do we tell him he’s lost it? Or do we let this play out and see if we end up with a full-blown milk stakeout? Because honestly, I kind of want to see how far he’s willing to take this.