Does it seem like I'm trans?

Hey folks.

I realize none of you are doctors, don’t worry about that. I have a SUPER doctor rn, that I will talk to. But I wanted to hear in with you folks, who have been through this before. I've also tried googling, but I haven't found a story quite like mine. Sorry if the title is too vague, I wasn't sure what to put there.

I used to be really convinced I was trans (MtF) for around 6 years. I didn’t dare to experiment the first years, because I had a real bad friend, who straight up said a man in women’s clothing looked like a pedophile. My father was from a conservative home, and while he has progressed a lot, he holds to an old thinking of genders roles. He made it clear what was okay and not okay to do gender-wize.

I would feel really bad over my body, wishing I was a girl. When I got to High School, they were very accepting of me trying out new pronouns. I went theater and got to do girl roles and such. I even got brave enough to wear a dress to prom and a bra around school campus! It felt great.

Unexpected things happened, and I was forced to switch schools. The whole thing took a huge toll on me, and I went back to my male pronouns in this new place, to avoid further stress. But I didn’t feel as bad as before about being born a man. I still didn’t have any attachment to my birth-gender, but I concluded that I just “didn’t feel genders. That all the bad feelings, must have been because I was repressed to be who I really were”.

Well, here I am, about a year later, and the old feelings are slowly creeping back. It’s not strong yet, but the fact that it’s there worries me.

I will ofc wait it out and see how it goes, but I wanted to check in to see if anyone else has had a similar experience? The trans people I usually hear about, has it pretty terrible, who seriously needs to change sex asap to be good mentally. My experience was that it got slowly terrible and then it was good for a year and now the feelings are apparently back? Can this be a part of the trans experience, or do I have other issues I just haven’t figured out?

Thanks in advance!