I feel guilty for making my boyfriend bleed during anal

So I will just cut to the chase. During the weekend me and my boyfriend had sex and I made him bleed. So we usually see each other every week, because we are long, distance relationship. So we try having as much sex as possible. Well, that night we did anal. Of course I went ahead and did my thing with him, and I do use lube on him the reason why is because i'm really thick and there's been times i've actually heard him to stop and he tells me to pull out. So if you would have gotten hurt, I would have noticed Well we got it done and I went to clean them up, there was no blood or anything. It was all clear on the wipe due to the lube. Well, fast forward to late afternoon, right Before i'm about to leave, we decide to do it one more time. So of course, we do our normal thing, and it goes in just fine. Once again, I ended up wiping him down because this time I did ejaculate in him which is completely normal. Then I noticed that when I wiped him. It wasn't clear it was stained. I shake it off as oh, he probably painted me again. Which is totally fine.The body does whatever the body does. So I turn on the light to get a better look. And yeah, I noticed right away, it's red. So I proceed to wiping more and more. Eventually it stops. He then turns around, he's like all clean. And I proceed to say, babe, you're bleeding. He shakes it off and says, oh, that's okay.Just make sure i'm clean. I'm over here freaking out and he's telling me that he will be fine. He then says, okay, let me go use the bathroom and we'll go ahead and eat something before you go. So he gets up and goes do his thing, and now i'm sitting in the bed all confused and scared why this happened. I thought to myself of all the three years we have been together, why did it just happen now. So the rest of the time we were together, I was not really comfortable, I was really scared. Fast forward to today, and I can't stop thinking about it. I feel guilty and ashamed.That I end up hurting him. I tell him to keep me updated. And he says that he's perfectly fine, but in my mind, I can't get that thaw out of my head. Is there a way that can feel better about myself Because lately, i've been kind of down ever since. And i'm kind of scared to do anything sexual with them for a while.

Some questions you guys might be asking, I think I have a few answers.

Did we use protection? No, we get tested yearly, so yeah, we decided not to use.

No, we have not had any other Partners in the last 3 years Together

Also, yes, I ejaculate in him every single time I top