im aroace... except sometimes?

hi all! first post here

for years ive identified with aroace, i still do, but ive been thinking a lot and now im confused.

i dont want a relationship, i dont want to have sex, i dont like it when people show interest in me. ive never felt any sort of attraction to real people or desire to be someone's partner. i also struggle to infer things like flirting or romantic song lyrics because those words feel so unnatural to me.

however! every maybe two-ish years, this weird thing happens with me. specifically with fictional characters, with all except one being 2d or 3d rather than portrayed by a real actor, ive had a "crush". i put that in quotes because it doesnt feel like how people describe it, but there's no other word for it.

when it happens, i feel nervous looking at or thinking about that character. they are on my mind all the time for a few months, then fizzle out and i leave them behind. and to put it nicely, my biology does some certain things in that period, despite the fact i dont want it to.

any romantic or sexual thoughts happen without me being involved, like my mind puts someone else in "my" place. the idea of it actually being me is just gross.

it makes me uncomfortable. i dont want it to happen, but it springs on me anyway, at seemingly random times. it only happens with characters im deeply attached to beforehand. not every character i love a lot, just a few.

so... am i aroace? is this some strange kind of demi? maybe aegosexuality? if anyone experiences similar please tell me about it, its so hard to explain whats going on with me 😅 thanks for reading!