Do ‘Tolerance Breaks’ Work?

I’m almost 3 weeks into not drinking, which in at least the past 5 years I haven’t done purposefully or intentionally like I am now. It stems from the fact that when I drink, I binge drink basically to the point of blackout. This leads to embarrassing myself and starting conflicts with my husband that sober me doesn’t actually really care about, and which he doesn’t deserve. He takes multiple-month breaks from drinking sometimes and manages it very well, but even when he drinks he’s never problematic like me starting conflicts or over-drinking.

I sensed it straining our relationship, and we had a reality-check conversation those nearly 3 weeks ago about his concern, which really resonated with me and hit me hard as he’s never expressed his concern so deeply. I never want to hurt him or our relationship, which is so easy and loving - we’ve been together for 8 years now and got married this past year.

My question is… does a ‘tolerance break’ work for anybody, such that if you come back to drinking, you sort of reset to not drinking as much? Or does it slowly creep back and escalate? Is total sobriety the only solution? I’m curious to learn if some of you here have been able to rein it in, and how if so.

I’ve tried to implement controls for my voluminous drinking, such as buying only what I will drink (otherwise, I will drink as much as I can until I am wasted), not having alcohol in the house, or trying to make commitments to ‘only 2 beers’ (which, the last time I drank was a total failure).

I’d love to hear others’ thoughts. Unfortunately I’m not somebody who drinks because they enjoy the taste bc if I wanted a drink I like I’d have a smoothie or something. I drink to feel something. And unfortunately dealing with anxiety/some depression I think I inadvertently seek to feel numb and stop feeling those negative feelings.

Sorry, this has been somewhat of a ramble, I appreciate if you’ve made it this far.