What have I been missing?

So both of my boyfriends told me they would break up with me if I didn't stop drinking. I was good for 6 months but I relapsed in secret. One of my bfs friends left a 4loko out and it triggered me. I do want to stop. What am I missing in AA that would help me? I've been to AA meetings before but it never stuck. Edit: I went to online meetings and they said they couldn't sponsor me. That's why I was asking about the 12 steps.