Baby after abortion?

Hi all, bear with me please because this might be long. I am a mom of two, my kids are 3 and 5. My 3 year old was born April 2020 at the beginning of the pandemic and it was a very traumatic birth (can’t stress this enough). I experienced severe PTSD which lead to PPA & PPD. This coupled with the isolation of the pandemic lead me to a dark place. I have since then been working through this and seeing a therapist weekly doing EMDR to heal my trauma from the birth and pandemic. January 2022 I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant. However, given my mental health I was not able to continue with the pregnancy. This was absolutely heartbreaking and the hardest thing I have ever been through. I am still broken from this, but know I was not healthy enough to have the baby. Over the last year I have still been working with my therapist and doing the EMDR to heal. However, I cannot stop thinking about having another baby. I think about it all the time. My situation is quite complex so I really don’t even know what I’m looking for here… maybe just wondering if anyone has been through something similar or has words or encouragement. Thank you for reading ❤️