I don't know where my marriage stands

We've been married 10 years ups and downs of course. Last night I came home from work and he was already in a bad mood. He yelled at our baby in his face because he had been crying for " too long". He then hurled some insults to me. We had planned to go out to dinner so I tried to calm him down and do a change of scene. I'm secretly crying at this point.

As we were leaving dinner, husband mentioned our 5yo said he thinks "I don't love him" which was heartbreaking. This is because I talk sternly to our son when I have to repeat things more than 3 times. I've heard the same thing from my son when he's been in trouble before with husband. Needless to say, this was another emotional dig as husband apparently is still mad at me from before.

On the way home we stop at the store and husband goes in where the rest of the fam stays in the car. I'm still upset and I talk to my 5yo, and let him know I love him more than anything in the world. I'm outwardly crying, husband gets in the car, and then we proceed to have the worst conversation of my life on the way home. Some bullet points: he thinks I hate him, I'm controlling (I manage the household and finances in which he has no interest in that responsibility), he hates any/all my friends, he hates my family, he doesn't respect my career, threatened divorce (for a second time in a month). I asked him if this is what he truly wants and he mentioned he didn't care. Woah.

Once we get home a friend comes over to check out a maintenance issue. No idea he was coming over, I tried to wipe my face of tears and perk up. He bought an old Chevy and we raved about the car so he asked "you mind if we (husband) go for a ride"? I said have fun, and they left. I played with my son's and put them to bed. Several hours later my husband is at a bar, and texts me about who he ran into...like the entire divorce conversation didn't happen before?

Today, i'm confused, I don't know how to act around him. All day he was in good spirits like a typical day. I've been distant and avoided him as much as possible. I'm hosting a party tomorrow with all of our friends so I'm really at a loss on how to proceed. I've stopped crying at this point and wondering what I need to do next....