Fun with mom

Social media is addictive because it’s designed to be that way. ‘Likes’, views, and shares give us shots of dopamine and soon we are wanting more.

However, excessive use of social media has shown to have strong negative effects on parenting. It’s known that frequent eye contact, one on one time and undivided attention are necessary in building a secure attachment between a parent and a child.

Shanann spent countless hours on social media. From the time she woke up in the morning until falling asleep, Shanann’s attention was focused mainly on her phone. Promoting for Le-Vel heavily relied on talking to her “teammates' ' by phone and hours spent scrolling and posting on Facebook. It left very little time to spend with her family. In fact, her social media usage seemed to diminish quality time spent with her children.

Studies have shown that excessive use of social media may lead to a decrease in communication processes necessary to create strong bonds between parent and child. While Shanann may have been physically present she became emotionally distant, ignoring all but the most important needs of her children.

The distraction of social media was merely an unfortunate addition to the already detached way that Shanann was raising her children. Bella and Celeste had been Babywise babies, and now were Toddlerwise toddlers. They were kept on a very regimented schedule so as to limit the interruption to Shanann’s normal way of life. Gary Ezzo had stressed that point in On Becoming Babywise. The girls were “trained” to sleep the majority of the hours in the day when they were babies. When the toddler years hit, they continued to sleep 16 hours a day with the help of their nightly doses of Benadryl and Tylenol.

We followed Shanann’s social media content throughout 2016 in the previous chapters of this series and it was obvious that the girls were becoming an obstacle in her promotional role for Thrive. In 2017 Shanann would overcome that hindrance by enrolling both girls in daycare, full time. The expense was something that the family could not afford but Shanann would insist, regardless of the consequences.

Her involvement with Le-vel becomes heavier and more complex by the day. She is heady with impossible ambitions and unattainable objectives. Her aspirations have distorted the family dynamic but she has no plans to stop until she makes it to the top of the pyramid.

https://youtu.be/5G8t_9_jyBE?si=A3BSoNh3OECXIPd8

It’s Shanann’s 33rd birthday. When this video begins there is a lot going on. Cece is wired and breathing heavily. Bella is trying to verbalize something of some importance to her mom. Shanann acknowledges Bella initially but is immediately side tracked by Cece and her live audience. Shanann has gone “live” during a moment of organic playtime with her children. She is sitting on the couch and Cece is beside her. Bella is standing on the ottoman in front of her mother and behind the camera. Cece has obviously leapt from the ottoman into her Shanann’s arms and Shanann couldn’t pass up the opportunity to showcase her crazy mom life. Bella, however, hadn’t had her turn to jump before her mom turned on the live feed and the fun ended.

Shanann is chatty and happy. She appears more relaxed than she has in any of her previous videos. She has barely gotten out a sentence before she calls Cece a “monster.” She is climbing, jumping, and bouncing across the sofa beside her mom. Typical toddler behavior.

Bella is just off camera, asking for her mother’s attention. “I’m sitting right here, mama,” Shanann tells her but her focus is on Celeste.

“She doesn’t stop. Like seriously, this kid…hasn’t napped today,” Shanann announces to her audience while smiling into the camera as her youngest falls into her lap. She tries to persuade Cece to perform for those watching. “Say hi, Cece.”

“No, no! Don’t stand on my legs baby,” Shanann tells Bella, who the audience hasn’t seen yet.

As the camera follows Celeste, Shanann states how thankful she is for Thrive. She mentions how overwhelmed and excited she is by her team’s response to the “call” from the previous night.

“This is what I deal with,” she says, referring to Cece’s rambunctious behavior. Bella is still attempting to get Shanann’s attention but her mother seems only interested in Cece running riot on the sofa.

Cece gets off of the couch and Shanann flips the camera around. Bella is laying on her stomach across the ottoman. She has her blankie and she watches as her little sister streaks in front of her at a full run. Bella lifts her head and watches as Cece turns the corner and leaves sight.

Bella immediately gets to her feet on the ottoman. Shanann remarks on the girls’ excitement over the Le-vel call, as well. Bella, who is standing at her mother’s feet on the stool, wants to jump now that Cece has left the room and some of the attention can be on her. She tells Shanann to put her phone down so they can join hands as she jumps. Shanann however, doesn’t want to do that and tries to get Bella to try it while only holding one of her hands. But Bella can’t. She asks her mom a couple more times to put the phone aside but her request is denied.

Bella is a child that “fought” Babywise and lost. She has no sense of security and it has left her fearful and anxious of most everything. These are symptoms of an attachment disorder. Bella once again asks her mom to use both hands to help her jump but it is too late. Cece has returned and she is ready for some action. She claws and climbs her way onto the ottoman where Bella is still standing, waiting to jump. Cece tries to crawl past her sister but Bella blocks her by backing up into her path.

Shanann scolds Bella for “sitting” on her sister but that wasn’t Bella’s intent. She had been waiting for her turn to jump and she knew that Cece would push past and jump ahead of her. Bella had been competing with Cece, Brittnie, Amy and Cristina for her mother’s attention and still hadn’t made her leap.

“I don’t want her,” Bella tells her mother. Cece has gotten to her feet and without hesitation lines up in front of Bella and jumps into her mother’s arms. Bella, who never holds a grudge, smiles as her little sister catapults herself across the gap between the furniture.

Shanann has been forced to put her phone down in order to catch her bouncing baby and now Bella has her chance to get both of her mother’s hands to jump.

“Can you guys see this amazing craziness over here?” Shanann asks her viewers. She goes on about how busy her team is keeping her. While she is talking the girls are prepared to jump again and this time Bella takes the first leap. Cece doesn’t hesitate and Shanann drops her phone as her little one falls into her lap. “This is my life,” Shanann exclaims.

Shanann is trying to reposition her phone when Cece once again just freefalls toward her. Bella giggles happily and lines up for her turn. Bella has gotten comfortable with the activity and no longer needs her mother’s hands to jump.

Cece is left standing alone on the ottoman while Shanann talks about how proud she is of her Thrive team. Cece gets right to the edge of the stool and Bella steps forward and pushes her back. I can’t tell if Bella pushed her to protect her from falling off the edge or if she does it because she wants Shanann’s attention on her.

The fun continues and Shanann talks about how thankful she is for her “DFT.” She mentions that she thinks Cece has a messy diaper but doesn’t make any moves to change her throughout the 7 minutes that are left of this video. Chris will arrive home from work as the video ends and I would guess that he will be the one to change the baby.

Bella is so excited to be playing with her mom. She laughs and smiles and enjoys this time with Shanann and Cece. She pushes Cece once again and it’s obvious this time that Bella just wants her sister out of the way so that she can continue to have a little fun with her mom.

Shanann invites someone named ‘Brittnie’ to come and stay the weekend and bring her children along. She goes on to say that she couldn’t have asked for a better birthday gift than all the love and birthday wishes that have been sent to her by her “friends.” This has been the best birthday in a long time because of all the birthday messages she has received.

I find myself feeling incredibly sad for Shanann when she mentions all of the “friends” she has in her life thanks to Thrive. She truly wanted to have solid friendships but they seemed to elude her for most of her life.

Bella calls out that she needs to “throw up” after all the jumping. Shanann shows off Deiter, who is sleeping on the couch beside her. Bella sneezes off camera just as Cece climbs around mom. “Say I’m an animal,” Shanann tells Celeste. Bella is seen for just a second in the background heading toward the bathroom that is just off of the playroom. She has a roll of toilet paper in her hands. She had just sneezed and was cleaning her nose. Shanann claims that the house will be “tp’d” if she doesn’t retrieve it from the girls’ hands.

Once again, Shanann mentions her “friends” and all of the love and support they have shown her on her birthday. She feels blessed.

Cece is still climbing and running amuck while wearing a dirty diaper. Shanann focuses the camera on her youngest and mentions the baby’s poopy butt again. She never makes a move to change her. Just continues to film as Cece pets and rubs Deiter.

More marketing slogans from Shanann as she shows off the DFT on her hand. She calls Cece an “animal and a “beast” and tells those watching that she is 16 months old. She gets down to eye level with Celeste and tries to get her to say “hi” again. But the little one is only interested in falling from the ottoman into her mom’s lap over and over.

Bella has been gone for several minutes and is now back and tells her mom that she “got a big one.” She must be talking about something she has gotten out of her nose after sneezing. Bella is funny. Shanann pesters her to “say hi” as well. Neither girl has been interested in greeting the audience.

It’s almost time for Chris to get home and they have plans to go out and grab something to eat before Shanann goes back to making calls to her team. She predicts that she will be on the phone until late that night. She calls it a “blessing” to be helping people and changing lives.

She has picked up Celeste and carries her downstairs. She continues to praise Le-vel while putting the baby down in the living room. She goes on about her dreams and her accomplishments until she sees Cece climbing back up the stairs. Cece stands on one of the steps with her sippy cup in her mouth when Bella calls out to her mommy. She wants to be held as well but Shanann tells her she can’t carry her and her sister and “the phone, too.” Bella begins to cry. She also needs to feel wanted and loved. Shanann makes her way once again to the staircase and lifts Bella. Shanann then places her on the floor in order to retrieve Cece, who has gone back up the steps. Bella whines softly, “mommy.”

Chris arrives home and the video ends. Cece is still in a dirty diaper.