I was right about being a placeholder/rebound

I had a bunch of people telling me on my previous posts that I was being ridiculous in believing that my ex boyfriend didn't still have feelings for his ex (as I mentioned in my previous posts, he had a ring for her and really wanted to marry her before they fell out over something. They then talked things through, evidently for closure, while he and I were together. I knew about it and stupidly thought it would help him get over her. Instead, he started withdrawing from our relationship). Other comments said that there must have been other issues that were the primary reason for him not marrying me. And some people even said that I deserved to get dumped after I gave him an ultimatum, even though I had been waiting for years.

Well, turned out I was right after all, and I wish I hadn't been. I moved out within a couple of weeks of our break up, even though he said I could stay for as long as I needed to in his house before I found a good place.

I heard from a mutual friend not long after that she had seen them together. She later warned me that they had in fact reconciled and were together again. She is the same mutual friend who had warned me previously that he had not moved on from his previous relationship, and his actions eventually confirmed that she was right. I am sure that one of the reasons he insisted on picking up and dropping off my remaining belongings to my new place was because he didn't want me to turn up and find her there.

I guess I did the right thing giving him an ultimatum, otherwise I would still be waiting and waiting, until he dumped me probably. What I don't understand is that despite knowing this, I still can't move on. As absurd as it sounds, I still love him very much, despite everything. It's a crazy feeling and I can't seem to stop feeling this way. He was my ideal man but I couldn't be his ideal woman.