Feeling like I've ruined my life.

I'm a 22M and I'm an alcoholic who's trying his best to fight this horrible demon and being sober. I have been working for 2 years as a SWE but I haven't really "done" anything. All I have done is work and drink. I feel a really big sense of self hatred and I feel like I've ruined my life. I have plans but feel powerless to execute them. I often feel suicidal and like I have let down my parents. I don't know what to do with my life or how to proceed. I just feel so lost.