Age trolling. TF?
When I was growing up, I remember how closely my aunties would compare the ages of children, and their achievements. It seemed very important to be younger, but more accomplished than others.
When I started my career in writing, I was always the youngest writer in the room. I experienced a mix of reactions to that. Some people couldn't continue a conversation when they heard that I was 19. I was walked away from more than once! It always felt like omg, it's you who came to compliment my writing. Sorry for being young!
It was a constant struggle to be taken seriously. Since my writing was good, I also had a crop of people who would get violently offended when I mentioned my age and would constantly accuse me of telling lies.
When I closed my NGO to get into dance almost 13 years later, I started facing the opposite problem. I encountered people who were so anxious about age that they couldn't metabolize my presence.
There were also the dancers who would come with very serious faces to ask me why, as a a passionate dancer, I had wasted my time. These ones would piss me off. I would simply tell them to Google me.
I guess I remember the pressure of the number above your head changing every damn year, and needing your life to show for it.
I understand that I have been privileged to experience many kinds of success while still young, and so I'm not hoping to be anything by any age.
To elaborate, I achieved my writing dreams at 21 (to write a column next to Ernest Bazanye and to publish fiction),
my dream to begin a safe wellness space for women at 24 (I met Michelle Obama for my troubles),
my dream to be a photographer at 30 (My work was displayed at the Uganda Museum for a month!)
and my dream to be a dancer on stage by 34 (I'm still growing and I'm in the process of getting a dance diploma).
I just feel like anything you need to be possible, is possible. Age anxiety for what?
Additionally, all the people I genuinely had crushes on at 22 were in their 40s! There's nothing unsexy about age on your bones, guys. When will you have the "I've arrived" Beyonce moment if you're constantly afraid of yourself?
I enounter age anxiety everywhere now and it's like a disease. Last week, I had a man hit on me, and the first thing he began probing about was my age, followed by if I have kids and why I am failing my genes by not having kids. He had this stupid look in his eye like he thought I would explode when he asked how old I am.
I dislike the funny eyed intensity that people get when they want to troll you about your age. On reflection, I think it's because they have achieved little and are hoping that their 20s or teens are an elixir that will save them from mediocrity.
Nothing can save you from time, bwana. It's a beautiful thing. Worse, narrrrrra can save you from mediocrity if you make friends with it.
Caress your smile lines, greet your beer belly and kiss your shoulders. Slap your own ass and thank it for being a good guard behind you all your life. Get your foot out of the grave and stop fearing your own age. Or else die. It will effectively stop you from aging and will relieve the rest of us to grow grey hairs, and gain new wrinkles, in peace.