He’s Becoming Someone Else’s Husband Today—And I’m Left Imagining Every Ritual Without Him

29F & 31M: He’s Marrying Someone His Mother Chose, and I Wasn’t the One

I don’t even know how to process this as I sit in front of my screen trying to focus on work. I (29F) thought I had found my person. We are both Bengalis, and I had imagined our own wedding with all the beautiful Bengali traditions—the gaye holud, the sindoor daan, the shaat paak. But today, he is getting married to someone else, someone his mother chose for him. And I am left grieving a future that will never happen.

We met at work, and it started with playful banter, late-night texts, and stolen glances. He was charming, sarcastic, and had this effortless way of making people swoon over him—including me. Over time, we got closer, and yes, we were physically involved too. He once told me how much he enjoyed that side of us, but in the end, none of it mattered. He never officially asked me out, never fought for me, never even tried to convince his family.

His mother wanted a "gharelu" (homely) daughter-in-law, and he gave in. He let her choose his bride while keeping me as a secret in his life. He didn’t even tell me he was getting married until I confronted him. He had already announced it to others in our team, but I had to find out like an afterthought. He barely met my eyes when we saw each other last, and when I finally asked what was wrong, he just said, "I thought you knew." And that was it. Just a simple sentence to shatter everything we had.

Now, all I can think about is him smiling through his wedding rituals, blushing as he stands beside his new bride, the woman his mother deemed worthy of him. The woman who gets to be by his side every day while I sit here trying to erase him from my mind. I wonder if he ever truly cared, or if I was just a passing phase, a secret he could leave behind without a second thought.

I feel so lost. How do you move on from someone who never really chose you? How do you stop imagining a life that was never meant to be yours?