My colleague chased me for 8 months, got married anyway, and told me it was because I never accepted her.

(with update)

I've been working with this girl for over two years, and as time went on, we got pretty close without me realizing how serious it was getting. A few months into working together, she started dropping hints about wanting me to be her boyfriend—and even her future husband. At first, I thought she was just joking around, but last year it hit me that she was dead serious. The catch? She already had a boyfriend and was set to get married. I knew it was messed up, so I cut ties outside of work and tried to keep things strictly professional. But she wouldn’t let up—she kept texting and finding excuses to talk, even saying she'd ditch her fiancé if I was into her. I wasn’t having it.

Then she sent me a wedding invite, again promising she’d leave her fiancé if I said yes. To be honest, it kinda hurt for me to see someone giving so much attention to me and getting married. But I knew I didn’t love her, and she just wasn’t right for me. I stuck to my gut and skipped the wedding, only sending her a heartfelt congratulatory message and apologizing for not being able to make it. A few months before the wedding, she admitted that the only reason she was going through with it was because I never accepted her. Even after all that, she still thought I’d choose her over everything. But I’ve always known I never wanted to be with someone else’s girlfriend—especially when it’s this messy.

For the past eight months, she’s been chasing me nonstop—asking stuff like, “Why can’t we be together?” or “Maybe it’s fate that we should be together,” while finding every excuse to hang out, whether it’s movies or dinner. No matter how much I tried to distance myself, she always found a way back into the conversation.

The worst part? Even if she had canceled the wedding for me, I still wouldn’t have taken her. If she could do this to her fiancé, I knew she could do it to me.

Now that she’s married, it still stings a little, but I know I made the right call.

Update: I just want you to listen. I am not looking for closure from you—I want you to hear my closure between us. You are married. The fact that you say you're going through this because I didn’t accept you is your choice. I never gave you a green light. I have always said no, not mostly, not almost, but entirely and always No.

I understand that I might be your ideal type, but why are you putting yourself thru this when you don’t even truly want to? Shouldn’t you be thinking about both of your futures? I don’t know if you will take my advice, but please, don’t do this to your husband. He might love you to death and has put in so much effort to be with you.

I don’t want to involve anyone else in this, but I wanted to give you this final closure. From now on, I won’t respond to you about anything personal. The only connection we will have is a professional one, and that is final.

This weekend, go spend your wonderful time with your husband, and throw away all the thought between us and never think of that with anyone else ever again.

And again, I do not want any of your closure right now, I want to you take your time to think about a pure and honest closure from you, and the closure I am expecting is you love your husband and only your husband, there will be no one in the picture.