Paranoid about being raped

I've been paranoid about being sexually assaulted or harassed for as long as I can remember. Every time I venture into public, I wear a black jacket that's two sizes too big for me, enough to cover my entire waist and butt so men can't see it and try something. All through school, I wore a jacket, but I remember that in 2nd grade, my jacket failed me. There was this boy who would always slap my butt. He figured I wouldn't say anything due to my shyness. For months, he and his friends did this until I told my mother, who told the teacher, who then gave the boy and his friends a ton of shit.

By high school, I became even more paranoid. I wore my jacket and I made it a point to give all boys a wide berth to the best of my ability. I kept my distance from male teachers and other staff and made sure I never got caught in a room alone with any of them.

That brings me to the present day. I refuse to work in close quarters with men. I avoid male doctors. I don't drink or do drugs. I don't go to parties. I don't befriend men, much less date them.

Call me sexist all you want. The fact remains that, should a man get it in his head that he's gonna rape me, I can't really do shit. All I can do is prevent circumstances that could lead to rape to the best of my ability. I've read far too many stories of girls and women being brutally raped, even doing the most mundane things in places one shouldn't have to worry about being raped. School, doctors' offices, gyms, at home, anywhere where men are.

There is no such thing as a trustworthy man. Given the chance, all of them would rape.