Lease end toxic relationship

Hi! My husband [29M] cheated on me like 2 years ago with a man, nobody knows because it’s embarrassing and hurtful…. After he cheated on me a couples months I [26F] cheated back as a revenge… didn’t work at all and just made it worst because every time I said something about it he would tell me “well you cheated too” Now I’m the present I feel that I still loving him or maybe my idealized love for him… I’m being sued because 2 years ago I asked loans and credit card because he quite his job and he was totally entitled, so I had to figure it out for our bills…. I’m asking for his help for pay this and he said that he’s not gonna look work another job as a part time… we put our money together but he spend more than he make and I spend less of what I make… so literally whatever it’s left in my account paid for his vicious life cigar and weed….. When I talk about this with him I’m who is manipulating, I’m the bitch, the crazy one… and I don’t have any help of his side…. I’m tired of this situation, I know I deserve better and hurt so much have to leave but I am in a point that my mind is connecting with heart…. We are renting an apartment and the lease it’s under our both names, in September end the lease… there is a way of can I leave before of September? Thank you in advice