FaifaWine Ep. 20 - P10L - An essay
Yep. I’m still loving FaifaWine and their progression. It’s just so… fluid. I absolutely adore stories and characters like this. And they're pretty rare.
We start off with the chaotic trio being their brilliant selves. We go from Gun fondly and proudly watching his boyfriend, to fighting to save face with his friend. I will never be over these three. You have two friends that bicker, you have two brothers that bicker, and then you have the friend and the brother readily ganging up on the third. Gun and Faifa are ridiculous in the best way. But then you go from that mess to Gun instantly backing up Faifa with Wine. These are true friends.
When Faifa and Wine go to get coffee, I love that Wine didn’t just change Faifa’s order to oat milk but both of theirs, “Because you said you wanted the same thing as me, but you’re allergic to milk.” There’s something exceptionally sweet about that. Faifa just can’t stop saying how cute Wine is and they keep just looking so softly at each other. Faifa only wanting one card because they always go there together anyway, was the type of simple gesture Wine loves.
Ok and here comes one of the moments that make me love Wine even more. When walking back, the two have a little moment which prompts Wine to ask about what Faifa said that night. He trails off but he still says what he wanted to say, that Faifa said he understood what “special” means now. When Fai prompts him about what else he said, Wine backs down but in a lightly annoyed way. I like this because you always see characters retreat in shyness or anxiety, which is perfectly fine if it fits their character, but that doesn’t fit Wine’s character. He would push on or stop if he’s annoyed.
And then Faifa continues it by repeating it himself. Neither one backed down. Both are being straightforward. And then Fai directly connects it to love by saying he was supposed to be teaching Wine love - it could have easily been left in the vague term of “special,” but no. He knows, they both know what they’re talking about. “Can you keep teaching me like this?” Wine once again stepping up because it feels so nice with Faifa and he wants that to continue. He starts to get a bit nervous because everything is getting closer to the heart of this thing between them and he’s not sure if he’s wording things right.
“Okay. Let’s keep walking together. We’ll worry about the destination when the time comes.” Allow me to scream that I love these two.
Oh, and just after Fai says this and it cuts to Wine, just… He literally blinks and has shifted; his eyes are brighter. The subtly in this is crazy, Mark.
So it’s decided. They’ll keep going, being themselves and spending time together without worrying about the end goal. Neither one needs that pressure.
Faifa wanting to make Wine feel special and them even saying how he’s obsessed with that word now is so real? He learned something new, something that makes him feel really good, so of course he’s focused on it. Wine gets the notification about Tor but has no reaction to it. He checked the notification and then turned right back to Fai. I love this man.
ArcArm
I have to bring up their little conversation. Arm(and Gun) are excited to try and help Faifa with Wine but Arc makes sure they don’t overstep. This is so mature and healthy? Arc wanting to be sure Arm doesn’t make their juniors uncomfortable and Arm listening to him and understanding the importance. Just lovely.
Gun/Santa makes the most adorable noises.
YothaGun
Now to YothaGun being so damn sweet. Their interactions are so, I don’t know - lovely, beautiful, endearing, warm, refreshing, comfortable, gentle. And it’s funny that they don’t really act any differently when alone as they do out in public. As in they readily seek and give affection.
I like their talk about Faifa and Wine because it again shows how they both genuinely care about Faifa - and Wine as well. Yotha knows his brother and knows how his treatment of others wouldn’t lend itself to a relationship. Faifa and Wine are already working on this but I love that this shows Yotha truly sees Faifa. He’s also concerned about Wine because he doesn’t want him to get hurt. Wine is now someone in his close circle, and I feel like he sees that Wine is important to Fai and doesn’t want that to be damaged.
Yotha asks if Gun is worried that Wine might get hurt and Gun is his insightful self. He basically says that he is but that hurt is sometimes unavoidable and isn’t the end of things. He brings up their own past and “I was willing to cry and wait for you too.” Of course Yotha doesn’t like thinking about that, he never wants Gun to cry again especially because of him. But Gun is just being truthful and he has no problem with it, because, like he said, “If I could turn back time, I’d still choose to cry, because the outcome of having you beside me is so good.” It's a reminder that pain and tears don’t mean something is ruined, it's sometimes just part of the process of building something strong and beautiful. And I like how this, being told how much he’s cherished by Gun, has Yotha again truly wishing the same for Fai.
Now forgive me while I indulge myself in talking about these two a bit more. Because every time Yotha says how he loves Gun or Gun is his love or the like, it will always hit so sweetly. Then you have Gun confessing that Yotha calling himself by his name makes him blush. He’s smiling and easily looks back to Yotha even when saying he’s shy, because he’s so relaxed and secure with Yotha.
He's so damn pleased with himself.
And then it’s confirmed. Faifa was right. Gun used sex to get Yotha to MC. It makes that first scene even better. And it’s so fun to see how pleased with himself Gun is. Yotha “reminding” Gun what the promise was and cutting to Gun just grinning. This is fun and sweet but I like that it also shows their healthy relationship with sex. They talk about it and have fun with it. It’s refreshing to see.
A couple more things: I wonder what specifically Gun promised(because you know these two don’t need a reason to promise just sex in general.) They love being tender with each other, their kiss is so gentle, probably in part because of their talk about love just before. Gun’s hand on Yotha’s back and Yotha’s finger scratching Gun’s head as they kiss. In general, I like the hand placements of these two in affectionate or intimate scenes. It feels natural.
Sleepyhead and Quirky Boy
Wine wanting to know the “process” of how their checklist will go is actually very cute. Because he’s really thinking about this - them - and trying to plan ahead. And when Faifa asks if he wants it to end, he instantly says he doesn’t want it to end. Faifa is surprised and Wine tells him that being with him feels good. Faifa is so struck because, although they’ve been pretty clear about the two of them, Wine so readily stating he wants to spend time with Faifa is different. Different in that, instead of talking about generally liking being around each other and wanting to continue, Wine is specifically telling Faifa, “I want to be around you. I like being around you. You are worth my time.” And that’s something Faifa’s not used to.
Faifa truly hasn’t gotten much sincere, open care in his life. So every time Wine shows he’s been thinking about him or is concerned for him just adds a layer of warmth about Faifa. He calls Wine and wants to stay on the phone as they fall asleep - something he’s never done and probably never thought about before. Wine is making him want things.
Wine stopping by, grabbing Fai’s phone, replacing the screen protector, and then just leaving… Yeah, this is what Faifa deserves.
The next couple scenes show exactly the type of issues caused by Faifa’s kindness. People will misinterpret his actions in some way. Especially if they don’t know Faifa is the way he is. Wine finds him after Fai rejected Jan, and Faifa describing how it went and how much he hated it really shows just how hyper aware he is to everyone around him. He’s so sensitive to others’ feelings that their hurt is like a strike against him.
Let’s think about his mother for a moment. Faifa is taken away from his brothers and father without any say. He’s sad and lonely but his mother is there, she wants him with her so he’ll get the affection and attention he needs from her. Except, he doesn’t. And he doesn’t know why. So he starts watching and studying and trying. If he does the “right” thing, if he puts himself last, he will see at least a bit of that attention he craves. And if he doesn’t, if he does something his mother isn’t quite pleased with, he knows right away. She may not be loud about it but that doesn’t matter, Fai has learned to be sensitive to even the slightest change with her.
This makes Faifa so affected by the reactions of others because it’s what he’s relied on.
But he’s seeing things differently, or at least trying to. And he’s changing. He’s been trying to really listen to those concerned for him but mostly Wine. And he’s wanting to make it so he can treat Wine differently than others. Telling him directly that he’s working to change.
Wine again accompanies Fai to his condo because he didn’t seem alright. He just wants to be there with him because, “When I’m not okay and you’re there to keep me company, I feel better.” Faifa’s expressions whenever Wine does or says something thoughtful about him is everything. You see how deeply affected he is.
Here we go again, let me shout my love some more. Wine asks Faifa directly about Fai saying he’s trying to change for someone and that Wine is special to him, he asks if it means what he thinks it means. And the talk they have is just so clear and candid. Communication. They lay things out for each other. Faifa doesn’t know if Wine would be okay with Faifa falling for him, he wants Wine to end up with the person he likes, Wine says he doesn’t like Tor and doesn’t know about Fai. Then, a calm falling over Fai’s thoughts, he suggests they figure it out together.
“When I turn around and see you, I feel so comfortable.”
Wine’s little pep talk about taking his time to figure his feelings out - he’s trying to keep a balance between feeling his feelings and staying grounded. He doesn’t want these rushes of emotions to blind him in some way to how he truly feels. And that’s so sensible and self-aware.
They keep their openness going with Faifa telling Wine he can say if he does something that upsets him. Which is actually a very thoughtful thing to offer. It’s not something everyone does and as Faifa himself struggles with doing so himself or taking anything negative from someone else, this isn’t a throwaway line.
The next morning is another lesson for Faifa. He really wants to change but he’s so stressed about how to turn people down. So he lets Wine handle it, which he does and then explains to Fai how he did it and that not everyone will be hurt by being told no and some actually appreciate it.
In the car, Wine asks what love is for Faifa and he doesn’t know, but he admits that Wine brought him into the “game.”
“I think I know now. Love is feeling so damn happy when I see him rejecting someone else to be with me.”
Personal Tag: F1