I just want to feel safe

I just want a girl who I can lay down between her legs while she plays with my hairs. I want to cry infront of her without being judged. I want to ask her that are my childhood bullies going to find me here?Am I going to get a beating here for doing nothing? Is someone going to be mean to me here? And alot of thinks and just cry while cudding her. I want her to tell me that I am pretty and she loves me unconditionally. I just want to take a nap laying my head on her chest and sleeping with no worries.