I didn't knew everything will end this soon.

I thought I still had something in me left. Ever since I was a child i always used to think in the future i will get away and everything will be happy. Then things got worse. I used to think I just have to wait. Then things get so worse that it seems impossible. Then i thought again it's not over. But after the last 4-5 years. I can't see my future. I don't see anything. I am now feeling comfortable by the thought of killing myself. I always used to think what would life be like for people who are unfortunate and lowest of the low. Then i realised that its me. I don't have to imagine it anymore. I know the outcome. Those people die like roaches. Without anyone noticing. There whole purpose in life was and is to fill up space. Otherwise they are lesser than dirt. Just like me. I didn't knew it will end so soon. I thought I will do this or that and will finally be happy. It's just not for me.