Softer TPE?

I have been wanting to share/discuss this subject in this space for a good while and I look forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences.

My question/discussion point is: how do you feel the relationship is between TPE, total power exchange, and Softer BDSM?

Is the fact that the D type exerts control on every significant aspect with the s incompatible with a softer conception of BDSM?

I am asking because I am in a TPE style of relationship with my dominant partner/husband. We may seem like ‘hard’ players: I have given blanket consent and I have no financial independence, and little day-to-day agency. We are, however, quite soft in our dynamic.

Let me explain. Although my partner is my Master - I’d do anything he asks me (and I really mean it) and he has control of important aspects of my life such as logistics and communications - ours is a relationship heavy on substance, love and kindness and relatively light on rituals. Pain and impact are not a big thing for us, although we do it regularly it’s more for ritual play than for the pain value. He has my best interest at all times, even when he pushes my boundaries a little. It’s always light and good humoured.

I do not need to address with servile deference and can look at him in the eye: I am his slave and his property- but his precious property. My role in the household is similar to a cat’s: there’s no doubt he is my owner and he decides everything but he cares for me deeply and there’s a lot of space for me in the relationship too, even my sassy aspects are loved and cherished. In fact I’m loved and cherished because of my sass.

My Master is my ultimate leader and owner, but he carries this serious life responsibility lightly. I always say that, yes, I’m fully controlled but by Barack Obama, not Kim Jong Un.

Any other 24/7ers -TPE(ish) people in a softer dynamic? How does it work for you?