Cerclage failed at 26 weeks

Hi everyone,

I followed this community since I had an emergency cerclage placed at 21 weeks + 2 days. The MFM team said I had 13mm left and was dilated at 1cm when they placed it. They wouldn’t prescribe progesterone in addition to cerclage. I was hoping for a positive outcome like most success stories I read on here.

But unfortunately, when I woke up yesterday at 26 weeks + 0 days, I had bloody mucus discharge. I went to my hospital’s ER and was told my cerclage was failing and I was dilated at 3cm. They removed the cerclage and immediately I dilated to 5cm. Less than two hours later progressed at 8cm.

I had two failed epidurals within 45 minutes before the MFM team gave up and did an emergency c-section under anesthesia. I never got to see my babies as I’m currently typing this at 4am in the recovery room. The twins are in a level 4 NICU center thankfully, but they told me one twin is strong and only breathing with a mask. The other one has a tube in their chest.

I can’t stop crying and thinking what I did wrong. Did I drink enough water? Did I lift too much stuff? Did I not push enough for progesterone to be added in addition to the cerclage? I followed my strict pelvic rest rules even.

I am so angry. I had an ultrasound last week to check on their progress. But no transvaginal ultrasound was performed. I can’t help but believe that they could have done more if they have done the transvaginal ultrasound and maybe seen that my cervix was shortening again. They could have done more like prescribe progesterone or do a secondary cerclage. I’m on the brink of screaming and lashing out at these doctors.

Laying here now with a wound from a brutal emergency c-section and horrible back pain due to the two failed epidurals. And doesn’t help I’m reading about life long problems and disabilities these premature babies have. I don’t care about the physical pain I have now. I have nothing but emotional pain that I failed my babies big time.

Does anyone here have any success stories with their 26 week premature babies?