Cassie Is Not Blind

Cassie is not blind

Her lying ass is not to be trusted. No amount of fortune telling, or should I say scamming, is going to save her from her untimely fate of being a devious little scumbag. Anyone she lays her eyes on is destined to be used and abused. You heard me, that’s right, Cassie Shadowslave herself is not actually blind! In this esé I will prove just how unsightly AND how sightly she really is.

First of all, her first lines in the novel are “happy birthday”. Why would it be a happy birthday if she’s blind? If I was blind I would never be happy. Of course, one could argue that she is flat out lying which she always is. An argument could be made that she is not blind and finds a birthday to be happy while another could be made that she is in fact blind, but also a lying conniving sonovabitch and being deceiving about such a situation being happy. To disprove this counter argument, may I present to the court exhibit A: she's not stupid. I give credit where credit is due, even though she’s a lying bastard, she is no dumbass. That said, in order to effectively deceive someone, you need at least two brain cells. Which is why when she presents her “happy birthday”, it is natural to assume that sigma male readers like us will guess that she is telling the TRUTH to LURE us into a FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY in order to better deceive us later in the novel! Truly, a masterclass in deception. But not masterful enough to trick me of course 😏.

Second of all, Cassie is very pretty! Now you may be asking why being pretty means not being blind. And to that I say: IDIOT 🫵. You would be the blind one if you didn’t understand because in order to achieve desirable results when in reality you are lacking, you must make up information. That’s right, you have to make up. MAKE UP. She wears makeup. In order to falsify her information and her image, she wears makeup and lies! Of course anyone willing to cover their face is deceitful, but how would a person who cannot even see be able to do such a thing? Cassie is considered one of the most attractive awakened in the world (true) so I have no doubt she uses heavy makeup. And don’t hit me with “maybe she's just naturally pretty”. Oh yeah?! Maybe she's just “naturally not blind” or maybe she’s just “naturally five gnomes in a trenchcoat”. That's how stupid you sound. Coincidences don’t exist and everything happens for a reason. And the reason why Cassie is considered so pretty is because she applies makeup which in turn proves that she must have access to sight. If you truly think her faculties are naturally attractive, you too have fallen for her web of lies. Patooey, I spit on you.

Fourthly, Cassie has a different flaw. Gasp. I know. Her flaw is not actually “You cannot see”. Her true flaw is “You are a bitch ass liar and everybody fucking hates you”. Because her flaw is so debilitating, it would be unfair of the spell to grant her a flaw that blinds her. In fact, it is more of a curse to be able to see so that Cassie can witness people flipping her off with her own two eyes.

Fifthly, the truth lies in her name. Cassie. That’s right. If her flaw is “you cannot see” then why is there a “see” in her name? Namely (haha), the letter ‘C’! Clever guiltythree but not clever enough.

Sixthly, Cassie is called a “seer” a million times (true). There is over two million words in Shadow Slave and one million of them is people calling her a “seer” (true).

Conclusion: I’m right because I’m based and redpilled.

Bibliography: True. Because I said “true” that makes everything I’ve said true. True