Thoughts on Suicide

"Are the stars in agony when they burn?"

Suicide. The only crime where you become the killer and the victim. A rare and morbid phenomenon which remains prevalent within our society.

There is one very good analogy that I've seen people use. Imagine you are in a building on fire. You are on the tenth floor balcony, with nowhere to go, flames licking your heels. You can feel the burn on your back, its flames blazing with the heat of a thousand suns. Your skin is already peeling and burning like plastic. There is no other choice. You jump off. To the bystanders on the ground who cannot see the fire, your decision is unimaginable, but to you, it is the better of two worse options.

I am not religious. I do not believe in Heaven or Hell. I do not believe in the afterlife. If I am dead, then I will remain dead. This life is my first and last. For me, death is a complete, encompassing darkness and nothingness where I will not exist.

The rational part of me will never choose death. Sometimes life is terrible. Sometimes it's amazing. Sometimes I'm alive but not living. But the emotional part of me fantasizes about it. The emotional part of me wishes that the cacophony of sounds and feelings inside me would just fade into silence.

I've heard some people wish that they were never born in the first place. I like to think of it this way. Replace life with love. "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Would you rather suffer through your feelings of heartbreak and bittersweet memories or never even meet the person who broke you in the first place?

Another thing I've noticed is that whenever a challenge suddenly crops up, the immediate response I've noticed people have is "kill myself/kms". In my opinion, this either means that 1) most people are depressed and are being serious, or 2) suicide has become a 'joke' and is not taken seriously.

If most people are depressed, then that is a massive failure on the government's part. A society cannot be healthy if the majority of the population do not even want to be part of it. If most people are just joking, then that has repercussions on actually suicidal people because those jokes desensitizes people to actual cries for help and will lead to a failure to action. A society has fallen greatly if joking about suicide is funny.

Compared to seeking help, death is so easy. On the line between life and death, only death fights for us. I do not have any advice for those struggling with depression. Only a short essay of my thoughts. I wish you all well.

"Cursed are those who feel oceans but can only express a drop."